The Underworld of Pregnancy: Reclaiming Bodily Autonomy
Is pregnancy triggering your bodily autonomy?
Surrender? Fuck that.
What’s a new word for surrender?
The Underworld of Pregnancy
Nausea, weight changes, bloating, gas, smell changes—feeling invaded. Your body being taken over, your resources drained without your consent, without knowing when it will stop, how bad it will get, what the outcome will be. A foreign invader inside your body, using your vitality, your essence, for its preservation. It’s a will for survival.
Anger, rage, despair.
For survivors of sexual assault, childhood sexual abuse, and complex trauma, this is especially challenging. This does not mean you don’t want your pregnancy or your baby. But pregnancy can be a catalyst to move more of that trapped energy out of your psyche.
You might do motherhood differently. You might want your body back sooner. No breastfeeding? More help? Anything that empowers you and gives you consent and choice. Give yourself permission to do it differently.
Embracing the Underworld of Pregnancy
The journey of pregnancy can feel like navigating an underworld. It’s raw, it’s real, and it’s triggering, especially for those who have survived having their bodily autonomy violated. The changes and demands on your body can evoke memories of past traumas, making the experience feel like a relentless invasion.
But here’s the truth: your feelings are valid. It’s okay to feel anger, rage, and despair. These emotions are not a reflection of your love for your baby but a testament to your survival and resilience.
Channeling Your Rage During Pregnancy
Pregnancy can be a time to tap into your anger and rage. To validate how hard, triggering, and unfair this journey can feel. Your anger is a powerful force—it’s a part of you that knows you deserve better, that demands respect and autonomy. Channel it. Use it to create space for yourself, to assert your needs and boundaries. Channel the energy of the panther and move your body like a cat (when you feel physically up to it), create angry art, scream/sob/cry/plead, and allow yourself to feel it all. Then make decisions that put YOUR health first, regardless of how they look to the outside world.
Redefining Motherhood: Empowering Choices
You have the right to reclaim your body, to make choices that prioritize your well-being. You might choose to stop breastfeeding early or decide not to breastfeed at all, seek more help, or adopt practices that empower you. These choices do not diminish your worth as a mother; they affirm your strength and autonomy.
Nurturing Your Inner Child During Pregnancy
Motherhood is also a journey of nurturing your inner child. Create space for your rage to channel out and exist. Do your moon—nurture your moon placement. Engage in bodywork and therapy, anything that puts you in the driver’s seat of your body and destiny.
Conclusion: Navigating the Underworld of Pregnancy
Pregnancy is not about surrendering your autonomy. It’s about navigating the underworld, reclaiming your power, and embracing your journey on your terms. It’s about validating your experiences, your emotions, and giving yourself permission to do motherhood differently.
Your journey is yours. Honor it, fiercely and unapologetically.